General
Information
Welcome to the Easter Island Lumber Company ("Easter Island Lumber Company")
Internet website. Our website offers general information about
our company, its products, and other information and listings
of general interest. It is accessible worldwide to anyone with
Internet access and time to waste.
By using our website, you are agreeing to be bound by these
Terms of Use. Speaking of "Bound", have you ever seen that movie with Jennifer Tilly
and Gina Gershon? That movie was hot! Anyway, Easter Island Lumber reserves the right
to change these terms and conditions and change or delete information
on this site at any time.
Disclaimer and Limitation of Liability
Easter Island Lumber believes the information contained in our website is reliable.
We do not, however, guarantee its accuracy or completeness, and
Easter Island Lumber is not responsible for any errors or omissions in the materials,
information, or hyperlinks provided on this site. For that matter, Easter Island Lumber
is not responsible, period. Easter Island Lumber does not
warrant that this site and the server connected to it are free
of computer viruses or other harmful components.
Ownership of Materials
Any product, process, or technology described in this website
may be the subject of other intellectual property rights reserved
by the Easter Island Lumber Company. Nothing contained in our website shall be construed
as conferring any license or right on your part to make big rocks into little rocks.
The Easter Island Lumber Company has applied for patents of this technology, and will
vigorously defend it's rights to this technology.
User Conduct
Any material, information, or other communication you transmit
or post to our website will be considered nonconfidential and
nonproprietary. We retain the right to copy, disclose, distribute,
incorporate, paraphrase, rephrase, reword, slander, libel and otherwise
use that material, information, or
other communication for any and all commercial or noncommercial
purposes.
In addition, you agree not to upload, post, or otherwise transmit
through or to this website any content that would violate any
law or that:
- is unlawful, abusive, threatening, harmful, obscene, lewd, offensive, defamatory,
or otherwise objectionable unless it pertains to the Bush administration;
- might infringe on the intellectual property rights, rights
of publicity, privacy rights, or other propriety rights of others;
or
- contains any viruses, trojan horses, time bombs, weapons of mass destruction or any other
harmful programs or elements.
As a user, you further agree not to:
- transmit junk mail, spam, chain letters, or other unsolicited
bulk e-mail or duplicative messages;
- sell access to or for the use of this website, including any
content contained on, downloaded from, or accessed from this
website without kicking back a percentage to Easter Island Lumber; or
- redistribute any content, including financial data, provided
by us in any manner whatsoever, including by means of printed
publication, fax broadcast, web pages, e-mail, web newsgroups
or forums, or any other electronic or paper-based service or
method.
Please do not send us any unsolicited ideas, including ideas
for new advertising campaigns, promotions, extortions, products or technologies,
product names, creative artwork, and samples. We will neither
accept nor consider anything of this nature. Cash is okay though. Preferably small, unmarked bills.
The sole purpose of this policy is to cover our ass. If, despite our request, you still send
us your materials and/or ideas, you are advised that Easter Island Lumber considers
all unsolicited ideas and materials to be nonconfidential and
nonproprietary.
Links
Some of the pages on our website may contain links to other
resources on the Internet. We provide those links to make this website look bigger than it actually is.
Easter Island Lumber does not maintain or control the websites or materials accessed
in this manner. Hell, we rarely maintain our own website. Your use of these links is at
your own risk - much like your use of this website. Once you link to another site, you're on your
own pal, and are subject to the policies of the new website.
If you choose to link to our website, you accept and acknowledge
the following terms of linking:
- Nothing will be done, or caused to be done, that will in any
way impair the Easter Island Lumber Company's impeccable image or reputation.
- In connection with the use of our tradename or reference,
the linker will not, in any manner, represent that it is endorsed
by us or that the linker is acting in a representative capacity
of the Easter Island Lumber Company.
- Linker will not utilize the Easter Island Lumber Company's name nor its relationship
with Easter Island Lumber in any manner which intentionally gives rise to advertising
or publicity without the express prior written consent of the Easter Island Lumber Company,
as well as the aforementioned kickbacks.
We reserve the right to rescind this consent, with or without
cause, at any time. In such event, Linker may return unused portion for a full refund.
Jurisdiction
This site is managed by the Easter Island Lumber Company from its off-shore office
at an undisclosed location. This agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with
the laws of the state of East Virginia, without giving effect to any principles
of conflicts of law. Your use of this site represents your irrevocable
consent to the exclusive jurisdiction of East Virginia.
Questions or Comments
Questions or comments regarding our website or any information
contained in our website should be directed to the Easter Island Lumber Company
at cj@easterislandlumber.com.
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